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Originally Posted by TrinityDancer
..........we stayed for many of the reasons we asked you-she knew us,it was familiar even though she was far more abusive than helpful,change terrified us(still does).although you are very wise in taking the initiative in seeking another counselors help♥
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Thanks Trinity it is scary to venture out because it is familiar and it was once a comforting safe place for me. I think there is a part of me that deeply longs to have that back.
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Originally Posted by ECHOES
 His taking responsibility doesn't make it hurt less. A sudden and significant shift in the relationship after 4 years is a shock and confusing. It's sad, to me, that your T couldn't see a gentler way to shift the relationship to something he felt would be more therapeutic.
I wouldn't want to do the videotaping either, although I'm enjoying some fantasies about how it could be satisfying to try to make him look bad in it (hurt/immature me speaking).
I do understand the 'connected until we die' comment, although if his therapy doesn't encourage deep and lasting connection, I don't know why he would say it to his clients. We do stay connected, in our hearts, with those we've had relationships with, even when separated geographically or otherwise. Memories are a way of being connected. |
Echoes, everything you said was just so insightful. About it hurting no matter who is responsible and that it wasn't gentle at all. I think it was an impulsive reaction by him. I also did think he meant it when he said we could be connected in some way like I don't know letters or something and I
know he knew that I was talking about real physical connection not in the heart and memories stuff. He just went with it and didn't spell it out like you did just now about yah KC we will be connected just in our hearts and memories. I was talking apples, he
knew I was talking apples and he was talking oranges. I laughed about the video revenge fantasies! Now that is always a possibiltiy. We could have some fun here making up commentaries on pc and take a vote to see which one I should throw out there for the taping! You might be on to something.
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Originally Posted by elliemay
Yeah, pretty much of a cluster f. of a statement right there.
Look, I was a big advocate of you going back and trying to slog it out with this guy. This made me laugh. I think if it were just the two of you then you could. What really really worries me here is that there is clearly, a second, third, and perhaps even a fouth party involved here who is actually pulling the strings. Yah that is what I worry about too. It's like what else will they do if I let them see or hear more. It's not liked they helped me from the first consultation.
Okay, if you (and I'm not saying that you are) really too entrenched in this relationship to seek out other ones, then yes that could be a problem, Ok if I admit it is a problem does it have to be a immediate reduction of sessions? I have started to develop more friendships but it has been a very very very slow process. Maybe I should get a sign that say's first 10 people who sign up to be KC's friend will get a huge cash bonus!
I think all therapies should be allowed to run their natural course with the outcome of each on their own timeline. It's like an artificial constrant is put on what is happening between the two of you. Thank you!
I don't know kacey, but this just isn't sitting right with me. You are one smart cookie to seek the advice of another therapist and perhaps continue treatment with them. Thanks I see her in the morning. That is why I can't sleep tonight I think. I took my sleeping meds but am wide awake.
As you said, you are not just some vehicle through which this group gets their accreditation, you are kacey - a human being.
I am so sorry that you got caught up in the middle of this. As much as possible I hurt for you.
Please do take good care of yourself in all this. I'm sending peace your way.
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That all was so sweet it made me quite teary.
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Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
When my T and I had a pretty severe rupture, he offered to bring in another therapist to sit in with us to help us work through our rupture. We were able to work it out on our own, but I was glad that he was willing to do that in order to help us get to where we needed to be.
I'd imagine that having this 2nd therapist will be helpful to you, to help sort out your feelings, with someone who is more objective. And I totally understand that underlying drive to want to stay with your T, the one you've developed a strong attachment to. Hopefully, by having this 2nd therapist involved, perhaps this T can help you determine whether or not it's a healthy attachment, etc.
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Yes Mue I do think it will help me make a wise decision in the end and not a hasty choice that I may regret. I am just so nervous though, like I am sure she is going to think I am a crazy girl. A crazy girl in a whole lot of pain. That was good on your t's part for offering to bring in another t. I remember that it was a while ago. It does show humility on his behalf and it probably meant a whole lot to you that he was willing to do that for the sake of your therapy.
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Originally Posted by granite1
but i do see all the pain and confusion this is causing you and i hope seeing this other T may be able to help with figuring some of it out so you can figure out what to do with all of this that was handed to you.kacey you are an amazing person and you deserve your T's best and if he isn't giving it to you maybe you should put some thought into changing and i hope seeing this 2ed T will help you figure this out.BIG HUGS
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Aw Granite you are always so sweet. I have never been told I was an amazing person before. Truthfully I always question if people want me to post or not.
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Originally Posted by likewater
The videotaping thing would throw me off too. Where i go it's videotaped bc the T's are students , but i knew this from the beginning. Also, it would be different if i felt like a group of people who were gonna be messing with my therapy and changing rulws etc... were watching the tapes. Ugh. Sorry about the hives and stuff. May angels surround you, and give those supposed to be helping you good counsel.
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Yes I am scared that more damage may be done. Who knows what they will do next. Yah the hives flared up real bad today at work so I had to take 2 vistarils and benadryl on top of that. They still did not go away. I was so tired from the meds I fell asleep at 7. Thanks for the blessings of angels, what a great imagery idea. I will picture that when I am sitting in the waiting area waiting for my consult t.