Well, I think the more important thing is to be honest with yourself. If you are in danger of harming yourself or thinking about it you should, one, tell your dr, and two be okay with getting treatment, if that means hospitalization than that is okay. You would probably only be in there for a few days and have group therapy which can be helpful. If you talk to your therapist and you both feel like you don't need in care hospitalization they have some really good outpatient care programs that you go to 3-5 times a week and again you meet with a psychiatrist on staff and you have group therapy sessions for a few hours. It is always best to seek help, I know hospitalization is scary, I have been there, but I have never come out the other side not glad that I didn't get the help I needed. Sorry things have been rough, but you aren't alone.