I am not sure really what to do anymore. My family is driving me insane!
Just some background info...due to my husband needing to miss almost 3 weeks of work in Feb due to emergency surgery which left our finances in tatters, then our daughter having to be hospitalized 8 days for being suicidal (she's bipolar) and then a month later for another 9 days for swallowing a handful of pills...then our son had a psychotic episode from not taking his meds while at a friend's for a week so HE was hospitalized for a week...
Anyway, I have been battling a severe mixed episode for the last few months. psychosis at times, other times just wanting to blissfully fall asleep and maybe just stay asleep for a good long while. I am tired yet so full of nervous, agitated energy all the time. Plus, I have recently been worked up for the fibro, carpal tunnel, and chronic nerve pain in my back.
The problem is, my healthy (mentally & physically) husband has left every aspect of trying to maintain our household to me. The fact that he missed so much work still has me digging us out of a hole, the kids are all over the place, he has completely shut down and I am just so f'ing mad and sad and overwhelmed...
I saw my pdoc today, and he asked me if i had any thoughts of hurting myself... without even thinking about it, i replied, "of course, but I'm too damn busy to kill myself right now."
That scared me because it was almost a relief to have said it. My husband just won't hear me...