If this is in the wrong category, feel free to move it as I don't know where to put this but I'm sick and tired of people in my life trying to tell me they know what I'm going through and whats going on. One girl I haven't talked to for years called me selfish and told me to "try" to get better as if I'm not trying at all and she thinks she knows everything. Then my sister sits there and says she understands whats going on and to turn to god.

I should back up to whats going on. I just got out of the hospital after an overdose. While there, I had homicidal thoughts toward my fiance because of his cancer and him being miserable(which he knows and understands.) Then we made a SU pact that he wants to go through with on the anniversary of one of my rapes(which is next week.)and I don't know. am I feeling like its the only option right now? yes but I don't want to hear from people who aren't actively in my life(personal life... I would love to hear from you guys.) that I'm being selfish and I don't want to get better. This girl doesn't know me or whats going on. To her knowledge I have an alcohol problem which isn't true. Did I used to? maybe but not now. I have PTSD, bipolar and borderline personality disorder as well as an eating disorder. My sister thinks she understands because she used to have SI issues and she told me to turn to God. I prayed on Sunday and I still feel miserable(no offense to ANYONE who believes in God or anything... I'm not trying to offend anyone.) I'm just frustrated that people in my personal life would tell ME I'm not trying or that they know whats going on. I think ya'll know more and can relate more than these people and I'm not going to take crap from people who "think" they know it all because they don't know crap. sorry I just had to vent. I'm miserable right now and feel like crying all the time. I have mostly mixed episodes and my BPD is out of whack and I get so angry. I just want it all to be over.