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Apr 19, 2012, 07:31 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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One thing you have to try to get thru your head is the 99% of the time you do NOT DESERVE the things that happen to you!!! These things are NOT punishment for things you have done and contrary to what you may think, you really do not deserve them. They happen just by circumstance, are caused by other "things" or people as a whole, by the government, etc.  But you do NOT deserve these nasty things. They aren't your fault!
Oh sure, I used to feel guilty all the time too mostly because I grew up feeling guilty, and then married a verbally abusive man who told me I was stupid and everything was my fault! My therapist set me straight tho, and gave me my "power" back -- showed me that I had the power to feel BETTER if I stopped taking responsibility for everything that happened.  I had to learn how to do that -- and it took awhile, but I was tired of feeling guilty all the time so I learned! LOL
I also hated the way I looked -- I felt ugly & fat. Well, I couldn't change my face, so I had to accept it. But I COULD lose weight, so I did. That helped my self-esteem alot! It wasn't easy as I've always had a weight problem (and I do again now that I've gotten older, darn it).
I've been depressed since I was a child. After I hit 2l, I went to a therapist and that really helped -- but he thought I needed MORE help, so he sent me to my doctor, who put me on an antidepressant. I still continued with therapy tho and we worked on issues about my childhood (which sucked!) It made a world of difference.
If you're not in therapy, please find a therapist! If you ARE in therapy and it's not helping, find a different therapist. Sometimes we have to change therapists until we find one that "clicks" with us. I know therapy will help you. I wish you the very best. God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee 
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