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Apr 19, 2012, 09:20 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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I'll try my best to answer these questions. 
What is the purpose of friendship? Well, lets say you are not in a relationship -- a "love" relationship. But you have this person that you enjoy spending time with. You go to the movies, you talk all the time, etc. You can tell this person your inner-most secrets without fear of having them disclosed. BUT - you wouldn't even THINK of having a sexual relationship with this person because it's not THAT kind of relationship. It's more like a "brother-sister" relationship. You love each other as friends! And you can count on each other in a crisis to be there when needed. And even IF you're in a relationship with someone you can STILL have this friend. There are things that you might NEVER tell your girlfriend, but you WOULD tell your best friend.  i have a friend like that that I've known since I was 4 years old! 
What does it mean when a woman says she loves you but not like "that?" It means that she loves you as a FRIEND, but not as a lover. She wouldn't want to marry you, but she wants to keep you as a friend.
What makes someone want to have sex, etc? You have to be physically ATTRACTED to someone before bedding them. And before you marry someone, you must be sure that you want to spend the rest of your LIFE with this person --- what stops that from happening? Perhaps it's a person's personal habits. Perhaps it's a person's temperament. It could be a number of things. Passion is just lust -- that cannot sustain a marriage. Listening to one another is good -- but FRIENDS do that and not all friends get married, so it has to be more than that. There has to be DEEP LOVE, and that comes with time -- and sometimes it doesn't come at all. 
How do married couples interact? Hopefully with love, patience, and understanding. Obviously you came from some dysfunction! What you describe is NOT the norm! I'll grant you that most families now are step-families, which is unfortunate. But even at that, one would hope that the patience and understanding (and love) would be there. NO ONE should be forced to do anything (sexually) that they do not want to do. That is abuse. And if you DON'T want to have children, just make that clear to your potential mate in the beginning. No problem! Make sure you know your mate VERY WELL before getting married so there are no surprises afterwards. Discuss all issues beforehand. As a rule, couples interact with love and respect.
I hope I've answered your questions satisfactorily. I'm sure others will chime in. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee
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