(((falling star)))) Not sure if I am right here but I believe I sit in your chair. I too live like this but I am getting better. Depression can tell you anything but (you suck) is one of the things that it tells me that is so hard to fight. Depression wants you to believe this - it's another way that depression can take over your mind. Depression is an illness that wants you to give in to it. If depression wins your gone. How I deal with this you suck feelings. It will take some time but fight back. YOU DO NOT SUCK!!!! Take a secound every time depression tells you this and tell depression that, that I do not suck, that is not true. Quit telling me this. It may take some time but I think it is working for me as I seem to hear it less and less. Good luck - know that you are not alone.