Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
I'll try my best to answer these questions. 
What is the purpose of friendship? Well, lets say you are not in a relationship -- a "love" relationship. But you have this person that you enjoy spending time with. You go to the movies, you talk all the time, etc. You can tell this person your inner-most secrets without fear of having them disclosed. BUT - you wouldn't even THINK of having a sexual relationship with this person because it's not THAT kind of relationship. It's more like a "brother-sister" relationship. You love each other as friends! And you can count on each other in a crisis to be there when needed. And even IF you're in a relationship with someone you can STILL have this friend. There are things that you might NEVER tell your girlfriend, but you WOULD tell your best friend.  i have a friend like that that I've known since I was 4 years old! 
What does it mean when a woman says she loves you but not like "that?" It means that she loves you as a FRIEND, but not as a lover. She wouldn't want to marry you, but she wants to keep you as a friend.
What makes someone want to have sex, etc? You have to be physically ATTRACTED to someone before bedding them. And before you marry someone, you must be sure that you want to spend the rest of your LIFE with this person --- what stops that from happening? Perhaps it's a person's personal habits. Perhaps it's a person's temperament. It could be a number of things. Passion is just lust -- that cannot sustain a marriage. Listening to one another is good -- but FRIENDS do that and not all friends get married, so it has to be more than that. There has to be DEEP LOVE, and that comes with time -- and sometimes it doesn't come at all. 
How do married couples interact? Hopefully with love, patience, and understanding. Obviously you came from some dysfunction! What you describe is NOT the norm! I'll grant you that most families now are step-families, which is unfortunate. But even at that, one would hope that the patience and understanding (and love) would be there. NO ONE should be forced to do anything (sexually) that they do not want to do. That is abuse. And if you DON'T want to have children, just make that clear to your potential mate in the beginning. No problem! Make sure you know your mate VERY WELL before getting married so there are no surprises afterwards. Discuss all issues beforehand. As a rule, couples interact with love and respect.
I hope I've answered your questions satisfactorily. I'm sure others will chime in. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee
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Hmm…I have to admit that I have no idea what you’re talking about. I read over your post a few times, and it is like, “What?” Honestly, it’s like a foreign language to me
Argh!!!
Sometimes I feel like I am not built for relationships and that I am better off alone
. It’s like music and English classes in school! I have no idea how people can play an instrument because all I see is squiggly lines. And don’t even get me started on metaphors and Shakespeare. I have no idea how beating around bushes or how one can throw one stone and hit two birds simultaneously is at all applicable to my life. I don’t beat bushes and don’t throw stones at birds
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I don’t know what a brother-sister relationship is like? I will never see my sister again from all the abused I’ve endured from her. We last talked to each other a few years ago when she was removed from the house by the police.
You talk about inner-secrets - what’s the point in dating someone if you won’t tell them you’re most inner secrets? If anything it is reversed - I trust my ex-girlfriend WAY more than my best friend. And if I wanted to spend time with someone, why wouldn’t I do that with a girlfriend? To me it seems like friendship is totally unnecessary, because there is more love and trust associated with a girlfriend. When I was dating and I had a crisis, I sought out my girlfriend; I told her all my secrets and said nothing to my best friend then; and if I wanted to see a movie, I saw it with my girlfriend.
So she wants me as a friend? Then am I not simply bonus on the side that doesn’t really serve any purpose? If she had a boyfriend then what purpose would I serve? Moreover, she has more than one best friend - she has three, myself among them. So, again, it’s like I have no purpose. It’s like if I died what difference would that make? I’m easily replaceable it seems. She has other best friends and will have a boyfriend in the future. So, again, it’s like I am a bonus on the side, not really important, but it’s nice to have me as a friend. Yet she seems to have such a high opinion of me, sending me cards and poems from the United States, and she says she loves me, but it is like, “What?” She has said she will always be here for me and that I have a “special place in her heart”? As far as I can deduce it wouldn’t make the slightest difference if I was dead or not to her other than her feelings.
And what makes a woman declare a man as a “brother” or a “friend” and one as a boyfriend? Is there something wrong with me? You say physical attraction - so I am too ugly, and what does that mean for less attractive individuals?
And why wouldn’t deep love come? And wouldn’t deep love imply a stronger love?
It’s like an endless circle! My best friend says that human relationships are not quantifiable and that love isn’t logical. Is that true? If it's not logical, how does one process it?
esd[;’es[wn42i9j8237br4-09ubg87yr38uhuby874 Ahh! So confusing! Maybe I am not built for this…? I occasionally feel like I am better off alone
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