(((Silent)))),

This was a good thread for you because it is allowing you to examine the situation as well as search your own feelings. Because the one that has to truely come to an understanding about this situation is YOU. No one here can do that for you all we can do is offer our thoughts and ideas.

This struggle you are having about him reconnecting with this other girl and abandoning you? You have to think about how that is really effecting you. If he does abandon you, that is not because you failed at anything. You truely cannot fix his problem, he is fumbling around with sorting that out himself. And if he is going to latch onto this other girl because he wants to be her instead of you, wow, that isn't something you have any way of fixing for him.

Silent, even if this other girl was not in his sights and he continued his focus on you, what could you truely do for him? If you did continue to allow him to continue to fantasize about being you in any way he can, that just isn't healthy for him or you.
The more this young man is allowed to dream and fanticize about being you or anyone else, the more he is going to lose his own sense of identity. This is a big issue he has going on and it really should be addressed by a professional that can help him find a way to be HIS own identity. This is really over your head Silent because eventually if he finally gets to a point where he realizes that he truely cant be you or that other girl? Oh he could truely crash, and you could be at risk of feeling responsible for something you truely had no ability to help him with.

Yes, you are his friend, but to him, that is his path to being in a situation where he is allowed to fantacize he is you or that other girl, that is not going to help him. And now that you have shown him that you have caught onto his psychological game, he may just find someone else that allows him to play out what he wants. Do you see what I mean here? He is learning how to feed an obcession and you are actually being more of a codependant and you have to be careful about that because you are a born nurturer and very empathetic, well you could become a codependant not realizing it. There are many women that DO fall into that trap not realizing it. I had to learn that myself and it was hard for me because I was married to a man that was trying to get me to mother him and I had to learn how to counteract that, it is not easy.

Silent, I know your want to help him, be his friend etc, but you are truely over your head here, really. This young man needs professional help, not someone that is going to feed into his mental illness. You have to give this some serious though Silent.

Open Eyes