Everybody I know remembers the dates: due, miscarried/ aborted.. It's normal to be thinking all the thoughts you're thinking. Have you considered making a private remembrance to that spark of pure potential? Plant a tree, paint a painting, write a poem..... type trip.....?

Plus, your hormones are wonkers and you're all emotional from that too...... take it slow and easy and heal up. Focus on taking care of you and what that means long term. Hard choices bring good times to reevalulate what we're doing and where we are with our lives. Ponder. Journal. Therapy. Good Luck.