Hey Lee! thanks for your message and thanks for all the hugs that the others wrote. Today started out bad and the day isn't even over and I'm feeling even worse than this morning. My fiance got in a fight with this girl and things have been building up for him. He started crying and I tried to comfort him. He told me he doesn't care whether I do it or not, but he is going to and now he really wants to. I feel like its my only option now because I'm so miserable. I'm not on any meds and I do have a therapist but I'm not to see her until Tuesday and this "pact" is supposed to happen early next week. I don't know what to do. I just feel awful. I have an ECT tomorrow so I'm gonna see what happens. I'm just frustrated and upset and feel I have no purpose and I don't even know. I could use alot of hugs right now.