Welcome back, Zen! ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Sorry to hear about your current struggles though. I think I understand about the feelings about your husband leaving, but fear about you leaving him. I dream of freedom and independence and being on my own, not because my husband does something wrong (usually), but because I long to know what it would be like to be free and in charge of my own destiny. But I don't want to leave him. I don't want it to be my fault. If it were his fault, and his decision, then I could deal with it.

It might take you being willing to leave to get him to face and deal with his gambling addiction though. You have been the healthy one for quite some time now, and you deserve credit for that, and you deserve a healthy relationship and some peace in your life. He's not going to leave. He has it too good. Maybe if Catherine can help you to say that you've had enough and you can confront him with a choice between being honest and facing his problems with your support, or being left to deal with it on his own, he'll see the light and recognize that he could actually lose you if he doesn't change.

TC, and please let us know how it goes.

Rap