I'm not totally sure what I'm asking either some of what Chris responded (thanks!) and just thinking about different threads on here in the past where people have mentioned things like how being held or not held as babies is something that their T's say impacted them; or how for me I have such an intense fear of abandonment and don't know why; then of course there is that whole issue of not remembered abuse so did it happen or not and what do we remember of those first few years of our lives. Also awhile back someone mentioned transference can stem from preverbal years; but how can it impact so much when we don't knowingly remember - I'm confusing myself; no wonder it wasn't understandable