Dear Therapist,
I didn't know that I'd quit today. It really wasn't my intention or the plan I had for my session today...At least I didn't know that was my plan until we were about twenty minutes into the session. But then it came to me. I knew that I wasn't doing what I needed to do in therapy. I knew that I was wasting your time and mine. What an awful feeling that was. What a rude and terrible awakening that was.

I don't think that I regret the decision. . .I think that somewhere back in my brain, I truly knew this week that it was coming, . ..it was like a roaring train that wasn't going to be derailed. It was something that had to happened. I know that I've quit before, but I've never been sure when I did it . . . I think it was a silly immature test. But this time it is different. It is sure and real. It is right. Not comfortable and perfect, but a resigned reality. I think that makes it worse.

I know that I'm not making the "kind" of progress that I believe is needed. I've been seeing you for two and half years! I should be further along in my progress.
But I do know that the failure falls on me. It falls on me because I can't seem to really move or make the progress or important changes I know that I need to make in my life. I don't think that it is in me. I think that I'm just too darn comfortable in my functional/dysfunction. I think that those needed changes are just NOT in me. I tried to talk about that today, but I don't think that you or anyone realizes it or gets it on a basic level. I just cope too well. I hold down a professional job. I am respected by my colleagues. My family thinks I am a success. No one sees things as they truly are because I don't let them see it. This is NOT an issue with your skills, it's an issue with my stuckness .. .my stubborness. .. . my reluctance to really and truly change. ..

Wow, how awful that is to realize or face! How painful it is to realize that I'm not able to be proactive and emotionally ready to be something I say I don't want to be. I'm sorry I wasn't a better client. I sure do know that you were a good and proactive therapist. I sure wish I had been a more willing and compliant client! Hard thing to accept in yourself. Thanks for everything, good and caring therapist!
Jay