I feel frustrated because I don't know why I have such fears of my T leaving because I don't remember anything like that happening during my childhood. So, both my T and I have been thinking more and more that it's preverbal, and that's why I can't remember. She thinks it could be when I was in an incubator for a couple of weeks because I was a preemie. I know by today's standards that's not a long time, but back then holding babies in hospitals was not a standard policy, from what I've read. So it could be that I cried and cried but my mother wasn't there and no one took care of me.

That's the only logical reason for my feelings today unless something happened when I was a child and I don't remember. It makes more sense that it was when I was an infant so yes, it does impact me today. My brother is 5 years older than I am and he does not remember any times our Mom or Dad left us, or anything traumatic happening to me.