((((AlexRawr))),

Sweetheart, your mother needs some time to think about so much right now. I don't think she is mad at you, she lost a child and her family is out of sorts right now. I think she is probably angry and doesn't know what to do about it. It takes time to grieve and everyone does it a little differently. Anger is a part of grieveing too, there are lots of emotions even the ones you are expressing here.

When we lose someone it leaves an empty place in our hearts and it is a shock to us in many ways. We don't just get over that quickly, it takes a while to sort through the emotions we have and to be honest, that is something we do grieve for a long time. It takes time to rebuild after a loss like this.

I think your mother just needs time. Just tell her that you love her when you can, I am sure she needs to hear that. I know you need to hear that too Alex, it will come.
Maybe you have to be the man here and try to just give your mom some love and try not to ask of her, but just keep telling her you love her.

Sometimes we think our parents should have all the answers and more strength to pick up the pieces when things fall apart. But the truth is, they are just human beings and they don't have all the answers.

I went through a lot myself and I couldn't just jump up and fix it. I went into shock and everyone got so mad at me and I did try very hard but it just happened to me.
I wish I could have just fixed everything somehow, but the experience I went through just hit me too hard. So I just wanted to share that with you so you would know that what your mom is probably really saying is that she is not ready to fix anything right now. I am sure she doesn't mean it Alex but she is just too overwhelmed right now.
But just being kind to her and telling her you love her, that is what is going to help her the most, AND that will end up helping you too.

I think your mom may be scared too Alex. So just give her some time. As I said, don't ask of her right now, and I know that is hard because you NEED TOO. But if you just keep saying you love her and be kind, that will draw her back to her family.

Please keep coming here. If you need to talk Alex you can always just come here sweetheart and we will listen.

I think that Reuben's spirit is still with you Alex. And I know he would want you to heal and try to let yourself slowly get back into your life.

I know it can be lonely for a time, try to find things that you can do to occupy your time. Maybe try to read some good books to help fill your mind too.

Remember, we are here and listening and always ready to offer as many hugs as you need.

(((((((((((BIG WARM CARING HUGS FOR YOU ALEX)))))))))
Open Eyes