Fir me thinking I'm a tough mother ****er and can take it" is part of my problem...it blocks me from other people, it blocks me of from who I am. Inside it feels tough, all. Traingles and sqs bashing into each other and what I want is smooth edges. Jugging "toughness" is to hard, I want to juggle with round/smooth edges. I want to admit my "weaknesses" I want freedom instead of using toughness as a prison. Of course I can take "it" but does that mean I can't talk about "it" and want support of others to help me cope with "it". This is what I conclude would be a successful life.