He very kindly, lovingly, and gently gave me the news that I was fearing the most -- and I can't bring myself to talk about it right now because I need to "try it on" for a while first, then maybe I can embrace it.

But I just wanted to say that we got some great things worked out. It actually works to my advantage to speak before I think as I will often say those right-brain things that don't make sense but tell how I am feeling.

We talked about email boundaries and journaling. He has been encouraging me to journal -- which I do and find very helpful -- and I thought he didn't want much email contact. I had a moment this week where instead of journaling my thoughts/feelings and keeping them to myself I sent them all to him in an email. He said it was helpful to read my email. I said, "huh?"

We figured out that I thought he wanted me to journal because A. Yes, it IS very helpful to me to sort things out, but also B. So I wouldn't bother him. I thought that telling me to journal was a way of dismissing so much of my processing and what I want to say because I didn't think he wanted to read any of it. Because of THAT perception I essentially felt like he was saying "you are too much" which is a deep-seated fear of mine. Turns out I'm not too much, and he's in this for the long-haul.

Just wanted to share. Despite the news I received I am still hopeful.