I just wanted to say I get where you're coming from. what might help is getting to know more people, making more friends. I think the balance is in favor of men right now, in terms of numbers, ie there are more available women than men, so that helps.

meeting more people, whether thru clubs or classes or whatever, will take it out of the realm of the theoretical and just make everything more real. you'll get REAL, FEELING answers to your questions. also, if you have a secure relationship, like with your best friend or your T, I think you will be less likely to see other people as possible partners too soon or whatever and scare them off, which was my problem.