Thank you all
I have read this about 3 times and all your words are very very kind, Lynn that link you gave me was very helpful I read it last night and there was so much that I could relate to so thank you for that.
I feel rather silly admitting this if I am honest, I was in a bad place yesterday so I thought why not write what I was feeling? I have felt like this for years, It is something that I have always felt, I can't take criticism either even if someone might not even mean any harm by it