Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Oh I didn't mean a psychological game like normal people play Silent. I meant more that he was entertaining his desires to be a female and was in someways trying to psychologically imagine he was you (a female type that he would like himself to be).
He was wanting to find a way to experience the female body but not sexually, experience it to add to his ability to imagine he is one. I am not sure that is healthy for you to allow him to do. I think it goes pretty deep with him and this is something that is hard to understand.
From what I know (which is not high level knowledge) most men that want to be women, actually eventually seek medical/surgical ways to achieve this. Now I know you said he doesn't believe in this but what else can he do? And I would not want him to increase his desires to where he would not be able to psychologically handle it.
Oh, and codependants are often people that assist others who may be doing something harmful to themselves. I know you would not want that, you are a nurturer by nature so that would be to asist others to gain and be healthier and thrive. I think you are confused about how to help this young man, I don't want you to get drawn into something that may ultimately hurt him psychologically.
I think you pretty much got my message though, yes, I am sure you want to give it some thought.
((((Hugs)))
Open Eyes
|
I don't imagine it's healthy for him either.. and that worries me because i don't know exactly how i'd wean him off of it.. the only way I can think of.. rather the best way would be to just come right out with it and say that i'm worried it's making him worse-off.. but he'll either reject that explanation and think i'm hiding something.. or believe me but be upset about it and go back to his other friend and wind up ignoring me again..
I've wondered the same thing.. what else could make him happy? and the problem is.. it's not just the physical aspects of being female- the female brain actually literally has better connections and so it works better overall than the male brain (this from some of his research) not to mention, infant circumcision further damages the brain by rewiring a young boys developing mind for hardship (experiencing such intense pain at such a young age alter's the boy's way of thinking, literally making them more prone to aggression/violence) and these are just the examples off the top of my head that he's found.. there are innumerable other which surgery wouldn't affect and would continue to bother him.. still i think if he could get past this stigma he has with doctors and opt for the surgery he would wind up feeling at least a bit better.. reducing facial/body hair with nono i think would increase his confidence too but he'll never be rid of his height and he'd never forget those other things which still hurt him.. and he'd feel even more 'unnatural' and 'freakish' if he did opt for it..
I assist people to the point that it hurts me. i wear myself out doing things for those closest to me. I can't put myself first and I get thoroughly depressed because i feel like i'm not appreciated no matter how much i do and whenever I'm upset these same people i wear myself out over can't find the time or energy to listen to me (which is the main reason i got a pc account.) I did cut for a time in my past.. the only reason i stopped is because a friend of mine made me promise to and i lost a major coping resource in doing so.. i still want to.. and horribly so some days.. but i can't bring myself to because of them..
I don't want to hurt him psychologically.. but i have no idea how to handle actually stopping him.. i don't want to hurt his feelings.. I don't know if i Can intentionally hurt his feelings.. and that's going to be very difficult to stop without doing just that to one degree or another..