Thank you Open Eyes - it's nice to have some kind words. I try journalling but find it quite challenging to focus on things enough to put them down. I will try and do that though, rather than trying to piece it all together in my head.

Something which has fallen further into place is that I now remember being terrified of my grandfather before my mother told me about her abuse - I managed to put the houses we were in in the right order, I always thought it was that she told me, and then I was scared, but now I remember she told me when I was about 8, long after the memories of being scared began.

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to help x