Oh thats okay open eyes that you didn't see my post. Thank you for replying! My next T appointment is supposed to be for Tuesday but I don't know if I even want to go. I just tried to take a nap because I had an ECT done today and I still had nightmares. I was even crying in the ECT waiting room. I can't do this. I told my fiance' this afternoon that I feel like the rape that happened in October was me cheating on him. and I don't even know. My emotions are so freakin crazy that I don't know what to do! A walk wouldn't be a bad idea but I refuse to go walk by myself in my neighborhood. I don't know it well enough and I don't feel safe. I know its daytime but still.... I don't feel safe walking on my own. I wish I was stronger.