Wow, he HAS gotten VERY involved with this. I never heard that circumcision was detrimental to the mental health in men before. I wonder where he found that infomation.

Yes, men and women's brains are wired differently but they both have thier values and intelligence. Women are designed to have a lot more intuition as I mentioned for their off spring. Men are designed for problem solving and gathering food for the family, today they do that earning a living etc. But some men still need to hunt and fish and enjoy it. I am not so sure women are MORE intelligent, they are just ment to do different things.

Like I mentioned this psychological problem he is having is too much a demand for YOU to solve. I DO fear that he is getting to the point where he is allowing himself to become more and more obcessed with it. The bottom line is that he cannot be you or any other girl. And we all have to accept what we have psysically to a certain point.

As for you sweetheart, you have to figure out why you need to give so much of yourself. It sounds like you can't feel happy for yourself and depend on what you can do to make others happy. This has to be addressed. I deal with this myself and I can trace it back to a little girl that was surrounded by very troubled people and there was a lot of conflict in my home. I think I just wanted the other people to be happy somehow so I could feel safer. I didnt ever cut, but I chewed my fingernails, and twittled my hair constantly because I was always so stressed by my environment. I never realized how hard it was for me until I relived it in my PTSD. Well enough about me but I did struggle and really found out how we cannot be responsible for the happiness of others. And often it is not appreciated, and that becomes obvious when we cannot continue to keep giving for some reason.

You have to make up your mind Silent that you cannot FIX the unhappiness in this young man. This is just too much for you to expect of yourself. And YOU my dear have to get to the bottom of YOU. Yes, you think you know yourself, so did I but I didn't know myself as well as I thought. You are smart and talented young lady and you definitely deserve to start doing for yourself. As I mentioned, often we help others by being happy ourselves as an example for them. Most people are followers and expecially children. And you DO need to make sure you address the thyroid issue and get your chemical balance taken care of.

So, Silent, take some time and make a decision about coming to the realization that you honestly cannot solve this young man's problems. All you can really do is help him make a decision to GET HELP FOR HIMSELF. And if he doesn't listen then you have done whatever you can for him. Yes, maybe he will just move on to that other girl but that CANT be your problem. And you are right, he cannot change his height and bone struture or even his brain. And he definitely CAN'T become you OR the other girl either just by holding and wishing and dreaming and fantacizing.

You already know that there is a limit in how much you can help others. I had to learn that myself. Yes, I was hurt many times too and I had to learn to come to terms with my limits, and it isn't easy.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes