Wow gardenergirl--- your post is wonderful!!! You put things into words so well!!

Rap--I agree with all gardenergirl has said.

and would like to add that I too strive for my therapist to like me and think well of me..... and also I feel as though I'll never be good enough. (though, he has tried repeatedly to convince me that he thinks I am a good person...... it just doesn't seem to sink in...... perhaps that "receiver" was broken a long
time ago --) I was wondering if maybe your T. has told you on various occasions that you are good, likeable and worthy-- but like me-- your "receiver" may not be getting the message??? just a thought.....

If however, your T. doesn't ever say nice things to you then perhaps asking yourself --what is inside you that is willing to put up with a T. that is like that---perhaps asking yourself....."Am I worthy of compliments?" ..... if not-- why not?-- and then in considering those "why nots"-- are they any worse than any other person you have met throughout your life?? we are human and humans come with flaws..... would you forgive another person for the same faults that you may see in yourself??? (sometimes I tend to be so much harder on myself than I am on others)

It seems to me that you are making a very good effort at reciprocating your neighbors kindness....... I hope your T. will give you the benefit of the doubt-- that you can do this!!

Thinking of you!

Rap--