I saw her yesterday and said that I had a plan, I wasnt sure that I was gonna do it though. I did tell her that the day before that I was close to it though. She said do you think you'd benefit from it, then I said yes. She asked why, I told her, and then we just eventually got off the topic. And like I cant just wait around until the next time I feel suicidal, I'd rather just tackle this once and for all before it strikes again.