you're sweet, bonnie! I am noticing a big difference in the number of active brain cells since I started feeling better!

my T was supposed to forward me a paper by John Bowlby, the father of attachment, so to speak, on Freud's theory of knowing the unknowable or something like that, i'll see if I can locate it. I have been thinking about this post. does anybody remember the attachment videos somebody had last year? I didn't see them, but people here said they really got what they meant by the different kinds of attachment? you're really kind of retrofitting what you DO know about yourself, backwards into a definition.

Sometimes I think you have to go by later memories. I was in my teens, and my godmother came over with her kids, one of whom had ADHD. He got out pots and pans and started banging. I thought, a) i'm jealous, I never got to do that! and b) mom is gonna kill him. But of course she wouldn't kill a guest, just threaten her own kid, right? So that's how I figured out I never played loud with the pots and pans - not more than once, anyway. That jealousy was ridiculous, I was waaaay past the age of wanting to play with pots and pans. But the feeling was still there, just like unresolved feelings still show up in therapy. I mean, that was over 40 years ago now, and it's still a clear memory. I think I half have that never forgetting thing.