Thanks Rapunzel and Fuzzybear. I just needed someone to talk too. The person I really should be talking too is my husband but he is the cause of this and after 20 years of different variations of the same conversation it seems so darn pointless. I took a xanax this morning because I was being atrocious to my son. I tried to tell him that I felt bad, and the caring empathic person that he his, he asked me what was wrong. I can't tell him that his dad is a jerk. I figured it was time to put feelings on hold just to make sure my son felt loved. So right now I am feeling ok. Sedated and calm. I think I will keep it this way until tomorrow. Question is should I take one before the session? I want to work through the real feelings but if I don't take the edge off it might end up being too much and I might slip into the fuzzy place and not feel anything at all. It is hard to discuss stuff in session when you aren't there. What do you think?

Now I have to head to work. I hope I don't break anything today. Or make as many mistakes as I made yesterday. Sigh.

Thanks again. I know I have been gone a long time. It is so nice to be able to come back and get a hug from you two. **tears spring up in Zen's eyes** It really means a lot.
Love ya,
Zen