My head is so full all the time. It's like I don't have room to think. I don't have anyone to talk to other than my alters. It's not like it's anyone's fault. My husband can't relate in any way, so he sort of shuts down when I talk to him. My mom has issues, too, but not like mine. Plus, she refuses to believe that anything could ever be wrong with her perfect child. I've taken Zoloft and Celexa, but they were from a therapist that "didn't like to use diagnoses as a way of acknowledging or enabling something as simple as a mental weakness" which I hated her for. I wanted to know what was wrong with me, but it was like she refused to tell me because she didn't want me to quit attending therapy when I found out. I still don't know what she would actually have called it. My only actual diagnoses are "best guess" dx from a nurse, which I know isn't good enough. I'm so scared to actually go to a therapist. When I did before, every time I got there, Nina was the one dealing with her to protect me. And the T was crap because she didn't even know about Nina even though Nina was the only one she talked to. Nina and I function well together when she takes over, it's like I'm in the passenger seat watching her drive. There's others though too, but when any of them take over, it's like being kidnapped and blindfolded and thrown in the back of an abduction van that is going Goddess-knows-where.
If anyone has anything to say that might be helpful or help me identify the other alters, I would greatly appreciate it.
Cas