I'm so sorry Cryson...I know what you must be going through can't be easy.

I'd tell you that suicide is never the answer. It only cheats yourself out of the opportunity for things to get better.

As far as your wife goes, I know it might not feel like it to you, but I would wager she understands Cryson. You're right, it probably does upset her...but you've got to understand, it's not you saying/doing/etc that, if that makes any sense. I think your wife understands that.

As far as your self worth goes, think about this: You have, at the absolute very least, enough value and enough good things about you to convince your wife to spend her life with you. I think that in itself speaks volumes about you.

I hope I was of some help Cryson. I will say a prayer for you.