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Apr 21, 2012, 06:42 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Away from Polaris
Posts: 3,236
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I dont know what to do with my life my life anymore, everyone said to me i should consider my self lucky i got my dream job and i live in paradise, i dont feel that way , well i really like my job and i am really good at it my CEO trusted me , i even became director of the month before and my CEO Begging me to stay but ...
I always wanted go to Kenya or middle east now my CEO even said i could go to Kenya if i stay .. whateever i want but i am still leaving ..this is something that i always wanted to be but now i dont want it anymore 
i dont know what happened to me i became just so depressed lately and i used drugs so much and i hate my self morebecause i did stupid thing when iam high
Today is my bestfriend wedding, so me and my friend had a long talk and she thought iam depressed because i get my heartbroken but thats not true well maybe a little bit but...its long time ago
ijust dont know what i want anymore, i want a baby but i dont want them to grow thats weird i know ...but iam not emotionally stable for a baby and itselfish
iam just lost.. its seems like iam standing at the same spot watching everyone around me moving forward and left me far away behind
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As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright.
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