I just wanted to start out by complimenting you on your talent for writing. You definitely have a gift. : )
Anyways, our stories are very similar. I am also bipolar and just like my alcoholism have had a hard time accepting it. I just didn't want to be "crazy" and wouldn't take my meds as prescribed. I actually tried to manipulate them so I would go manic because I liked the high of mania. I just recently came to terms with this because I am lucky enough to be seeing 3 professionals currently and all of them reinforced the fact that I was bipolar; therefore, I thought I should listen to them and just recently started taking my meds as prescribed. My suggestion to you and this is just a suggestion is to take your meds as prescribed (it takes awhile to get on the right meds so don't get discouraged) and that will help you to get sober because it creates the stability in your life that you need to take the huge and difficult step of getting sober.
As for your addiction, I use to identify myself as a chronic relapser because I just couldn't get it. I'd have a yr. or a yr. and a half and I just couldn't seem to get it. I've found now that it is b/c I couldn't get honest, have constant vigilance, acquired other addictions like food and sex, got in relationships (basically used anything to take the focus off me and my mind), etc. etc. etc. But I realized I had to go through everything I had to to get to this point, I had to be brought to my knees to finally get this thing. I had to change everything and take every suggestion in the program, not bits and pieces of what I wanted to do because I am selfish and self-centered to the extreme and if left to my own devices I won't think of others and won't help them. AA is all about changing your thoughts and behaviors, having a psychic change, so that you won't even desire the drug lifestyle anymore because you wont act like a drug addict anymore. That's what I've learned, if nothing else listen to this: you have to change everything about you to make sobriety stick. But don't beat yourself up it took me 10 yrs. to "get it" and for some of us that's what it takes (it took my sponsor 10 yrs. too). I'll leave you with a quote, "Success is getting up one more time than you've fallen down." So get up again. Try this thing again. If you don't like it like they say we will refund your misery. I believe in you and I will pray for you. My higher power loves you and he doesn't want you to live like this anymore. Grow up and show up and you'll be fine.