i think there's a part of all of us that wants sex to be spontaneous and a great time. but, it's not all spontaneous. sex is what you make of it and the most important part is who you choose to share the experience it with. a lot of advice out there on sex is bad. frankly, i am a romantic. but, i know that i cannot automatically expect all partners to be that way. so, careful screening of partners is very important. that's what dating is all about. i have rushed into sex because my partner was "ready." but, emotionally, i was not and it was a big mistake. if you like passion and making out beforehand, you should not be too shy to tell your date that's what you're looking for. romance is not necessarily being treated like a queen. romance - at least to me - is taking your time, getting to know each other, sharing kisses and hand-holding. and, it's something that continues in the relationship and is not limited to just the getting to know you part. so, sex is partially what you make it. choose a partner carefully. tell them what you like and what you don't. it's okay to say "stop!" i think it's best to date people around your own age since you will have more in common. my new line to potential partners? i like to take things slow. if they don't like it, bye-bye. lastly, sex should always be safe. if they don't believe in playing it safe well, that's a deal breaker and it's bye-bye time. i hope this helps. all the best to you.