As I have stated in the past, my father was my main, but not only, abuser. He is now dying-back and forth between the hospital, his home and the nursing home. The only family members I have ever talked about the abuse with are my sister, and to a lesser extent, one of my younger brothers, so as far as my extended family goes, my situation is one of those secrets that I suspect some know, but haven't acknowledged.

My therapist recommends that I stay away from visiting or talking to my father because I am so triggered when I come in contact with him; however, now that he is in such bad health, my sister, two brothers, and I are expected to help and handle his affairs. Currently my sister is in and out of the hospital for mental instability so she's not available, and I am next in line in the pecking order to take care of what's expected with his care. Btw, there also is a wicked step-mother involved who calls and leaves rude messages about where he is, phone numbers, etc.

I am unable at this time to stop seeing him. It leaves too much for my brothers, one who also has an illness he battles, to handle. I don't really have any requests for advice, I just wonder if I am the only one who has felt obligated to care for his or her abuser.

Bluemountains