I don't know if my libido is beginning to die or not.

I was warned by the Voices that they'd be taking it out of my system to keep me from masturbating (they are trying to keep me from seeking sexual interests, not to mention that they say it's against my nature.)

I remember masturbating for a period of time before it began to arouse me to the point that my heart would beat very fast, then I had to stop because I was afraid I was going to have a heart attack.

And so I've been feeling like I want to do it, but when I did, there was no pleasure. I felt it before I did it though. I can feel the vibration and my heart, but not during the masturbation.

I've actually have had natural vibrations like that before, just a year ago, but I wanted them to go away. Now they're starting come back again.

There are only certain things that turn me on. I can only do it if I'm imagining a sex scene, but if I see a nude photo or see a movie featured with sex then I will automatically freak out (to be honest the only part I got past was just the buttocks, but that doesn't pleasure me.)

I just don't know. It must have something to do with the Voices.