As most users that know me on this site are aware of, I am a serious perfectionist, and I have a long history of attempted suicides and extreme self-harming because of it. I've thought of and done some horrible things to myself.

It takes almost nothing for intense suicidal/self-harm feelings to arise in me, almost as if I am permanently angry with myself and all it takes is a hair for that to be activated, whereby I become a fireball of self-hate.

How do I cope with this? How can I ever feel good about myself?