Quote:
Originally Posted by justgivealittle
I have a fiance' who means the world to me. I have been with him for almost a year... thing is I can't have sex with him. I get uncomfortable when he hugs me or tries to kiss me or anything.
I have been sexually abused and raped and those things affect me constantly. I wish I could make him happy but I feel like I'm making him miserable because I can't be touched. He says he understands but I question it a lot. *sigh* why can't I just be okay...  |
Are you able to hug him and kiss him if he stays still? Or does that trigger you?
Sorry, this is a personal question...have you masturbated at all since your rapes? If not, that would be a good place to start. Start by doing it alone, when he is not home, and there is zero pressure. Then when you feel comfortable with that, invite him to watch you (if that isn't a specific trigger for you), but ask him not to touch you. Again, that way you maintain control. That may help ease you into being intimate with him.
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age: 23
dx: bipolar I, ADHD-C, tourette's syndrome, OCD, trichotillomania, GAD, Social Phobia, BPD, RLS
current meds: depakote (divalproex sodium) 1000mg, abilify (aripiprazole) 4mg, cymbalta (duloxetine) 60mg, dexedrine (dexamphetamine) 35mg, ativan (lorazepam) 1mg prn, iron supplements
past meds: ritalin, adderall, risperdal, geodon, paxil, celexa, zoloft
other: individual talk therapy, CBT, group therapy, couple's therapy, hypnosis
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