Dear Littlej,
Sorry I didn't come on the boards yesterday. It was a difficult day of sorts for me. Please listen to DE. Get some help. I was severely depressed at one time and wanted it just to all stop. Medications helped with that as did therapy and group support. Coming here is a start. You have made the first step to making things better for yourself. Concentrate on keeping your body healthy. Go get some good organic grub, take a long warm shower and if necessary a short nap. Go outside for a walk. It helps me to not injure if I am in the act of taking good care of my body. I become protective of it. It is when I let the depression take over and stop consciously taking care of my body that it become easier to harm it.
Be kind to yourself,
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft