my depression has always been around and I kinda treat it like an indulgence if that makes sense. It's always there but I choose not to partake. HOWEVER, I can only keep that up for so long and the cycle begins again. I can deal with the world for about a year and a half or so and then crash. And right now I'm on my way down. Depression is in some ways for me so much easier. I can just shut down. Everything isn't a struggle and there's no appearance to keep up and for a small amount of time I don't have to prop everyone else up. That being said, I'm going to take a nap. I can only seem to sleep during the day (15 years of insomnia, yay) so I take it where I can get it before it gets dark and my mood gets much worse.