Jax, you are not making excuses, you are feeling the pain. Pain is um? Painful beyond our words. I believe that you can come through this and become who you would like to become. I know I felt like I would always be white trash and I wore a red flag that advertised to the world that I was unlovable. That's all I am saying, you have it inside to accomplish and become. Yes, I agree, crying, mourning is important. Screaming is important. And then seeing the person that we see is also important. I hope this makes sense.

I feel like I had a lot of howling to do in the beginning. Howling, shreiking grieving. It is stronger then I am comfortable with but it does transform.

Peace, ww