Ok, Alex, it sounds like your family is very disconnected and that happens in a situation where the father is not there in a healthy supportive way and after all your brother demanded a lot of time as he was ill a lot.

Alex, I think your mom was just going along doing her best to raise four children, with one child being sick with such a troubling illness. And often that is such a big demand on a parent and they can kind of even become a bit distant as they are just trying to work through the motions of keeping things all together somehow.

Well, your mother was on a kind of schedule of maintaining her ability to just keep trying to address Reubens illness and then your father was this big challenger to her as well. Then you all lost Reuben and the pattern your mother had all fell apart. And I am sure she doesn't have a clue in how to pick up the pieces here. It really isn't like all of a sudden we are just grownups and know how deal with all of this. I am sure you mother is very overwhelmed and very lost Alex.

Now this doesn't mean she doesn't love you Alex. I have a feeling that she is just plain lost right now, and emotionally lost as well. I hope she is working with a therapist, you all should be working with a therapist to deal with what has been going on in your family. Alex, I bet your mother is scared right now. And I wouldn't be surprised if she also has a short temper and is also depressed. You ALL have been through a lot.

I am sorry you feel so alone right now Alex. This is going to take some time for all of you to work through. That is why I suggested you at least tell your mother you love her without putting the demand on her to sort things out for you right now. I have a feeling she doesn't know how to help herself, let alone you and your brother and sister. And I am sure that she is angry too that she is left with all of this to sort out.

Just give this time Alex, and if you can reach out to the councelor at school and see if you can find a way to get more help, that would be a good thing for you to do. You all need help to be honest. But at least reach out on your own as well.

Keep coming and talking to us Alex, we are here to listen and keep sending you lots of hugs.

(((((((Big warm hugs)))))

Open Eyes