Quote:
Originally Posted by Living Well
Hi NEC, I'm interested in your story.
Do you really "go hard" when you are not depressed or does the depression just make everything feel too hard when you hit that point?
How long do you crash for? How many cycles have you had in the past 15 years?
How's your diet and exercise? Do you find that helps at all?
Are you on meds or do you take them in the dark times?
Do you push yourself to exhaustion at times well or unwell?
You don't have to answer any of that... I spose I'm just a little intrigued by that 15mth cycle you have going on, how long the depression lasts and how deep it goes.
Cheers,
Jade
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I usually crash for a year or so. Then go back to the psychiatrist, get back on different meds, keep appointments for awhile and maybe even see a counselor. Then I stop going to the counselor, stop being able to afford all the meds and feel okay for awhile. It's always there I just ignore and suppress it for as long as I can until all of a sudden I realize I'm tired all the time, little things make me angry, I can't focus or concentrate again. I've never been a health nut, my diet is pretty pathetic which I'm sure does not help. Once I realize I'm depressed "again" it goes straight down pretty rapidly as soon as I admit it to myself. I'm not bipolar, my "highs" are everyone else's normal. It's my lows that swing from bearable to wouldn't it be nice to just be in an institution for awhile and just not have to deal with the world. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I thing I may also have borderline personality disorder. Just wish the cycle would end or that I could be strong enough to embrace one or the other. I'm 31 and I just don't know what to do anymore.