In the beginning I drank to loosen up at parties and get togethers, I really liked the buzz too! Somewhere along the way I drank because it was my way of coping, I drank to be numb and not be a full participant in my life. I thought I could handle it, truth be known, it handled me. It handled me like a tornado handles a tree...snapped me right in two.

In my late 30's I just couldn't begin a day without drinking, couldn't end a day without drinking either. Things got bad, all those close to me had had enough. It was hard for them to love me anymore while they watched me get worse and worse. They wrung their hands because they didn't know what to do. They didn't want to turn their backs but they couldn't continue. Of course, I didn't help, I was chasing them away 'cause I thought I wasn't worth saving. I hope that gives you some insight into "why."

What happened? I got a good look at myself one night in the mirror. Physically, I didn't look too good. I kept looking and replaying so many drunk episodes in my head. Still looking at how bad I looked and felt. The next morning, I promptly started drinking wine and I got drunk. Somewhere in the stupor I called someone for help. They came over and sat with me to keep me safe.

So, It's been several years since I walked into my 1st AA meeting. It's where I needed to be to get that monkey off my back. Darn good place to go. Everyone is like everyone else...all got trouble with that alcohol. People from all walks of life, every occupation you can think of and they welcome you kindly with understanding because they've all been there.

Ask your dad to try 6 meetings. It doesn't matter if he's still drinking or not. Ask him to go to a meeting or 2 or 6 and that way he'll know where to go when he's ready. Or maybe he'll be ready then. Remember, he'll be ready when the disease of alcoholism gets to a point where he has to make that decision. It's his to make.

Remember, you can't make anyone do anything. Show him some options and then you've done all you can do.

For yourself, there's Al Anon where the only requirement is that you have a problem with someone's drinking. I highly recommend it. You shouldn't have to be alone in all this. Try 6 meetings yourself.

Stay on PC and write in this Forum, there are many good people here who can give good perspective for you during this tough time.