I mean no disrespect also, but he does sound very controlling and unhealthy. I am curious about this whole idea of private, not sure what that means. But if it means keeping secrets that is likely a major problem! I didn't read every single post in this thread, so I apologize if you already said this, but have you talked to him about it being unfair to put you in this position. If he is unwilling to have conversations with you about how you feel then that will be a big problem long term and not good for your coming child. You find yourself in a rough spot, I am glad you are here posting about it! I hope you are able to find some resolution!