Hi ACQPL, I remember you had felt terribly guilty about your friend's death. Maybe you are punishing yourself for that by pushing away your friends? as if you don't deserve people caring about you? (sorry if I am wrong) As for not caring about people anymore, I think that is your depression. I have guilt issues myself and I also go round and round with the thoughts, the should haves, could haves... it is paralyzing and like hell on earth...you are not alone.