Hillbunnyb, thank you for responding. That is a big thing t has me working on, acceptance. It seems like a small word for such a huge concept. I sure hope at some point I can become better at riding things out. Awareness also has allowed me to see how much I was missing as far as even being aware of when I wasn't aware.

Thank you for your mention of balance. That might be the biggest want and need right now but it feels so impossible being a widow with a minor child with a dx'ed mental illness. It makes it difficult because I have to work when I feel like I can't and I'm always afraid it will crash at any time. Balance seems like an illusion right now and it makes progress very hard at this time. I do pray for a time when I can have the opportunity to achieve that balance one day.

Thank you so much for your support.