Hello Cas, Nina, Alex, Rosalie, and others,

I don't have any good answers. I am just starting the process myself. I just wanted to mention something my T said, for what it is worth.

I have always maintained the point that "why would anyone want to feel their feelings . . . when the feelings were miserable and ****ty. Better to be numb, was my thinking.

The point made by my T was that I was dealing with the ****ty miserable feelings anyway, just not directly and it was better to have the snake in front of you than behind you.

That doesn't make it any easier, I know. My first approach at letting him talk to even one had repercussions.

But the bottom line is that you need to do what YOU need to do within your time frame. Not what I need to do or anyone else. I wish you all the best in whichever paths you chose to walk. Many hugs!