Don't you hate it when you get to the point where everything just feels terrible? I do what I have to do each day, but my interests are waning in just about everything. I exercise to feel better, but it doesn't make a difference. I'm even losing some weight, but it doesn't seem to make me happy. I get good grades on a test and I don't even care.
I just feel lost like I'm supposed to be some place else. Nothing seems to make sense. I'm emotionally and mentally extremely tired, but physically I have tons of energy. I don't like to sleep because I have too many nightmares. I don't look forward to anything anymore. I just do stuff because I have to. I just want to be happy, but instead I feel constantly frustrated and angry. I'm developing road rage and any part of my personality that was laid back no longer exists. I'm tired of thinking about stuff.
I'm not even sure how to explain it. Its like I'm here and I exist, but that's about it. I have experiences, I go through things, I travel places, but it is all like a dream. Like I didn't really do those things. I want to experience life and feel real emotions beside sadness and anger, but I don't feel anything but anger and sadness. And I feel like I have been this way forever. I'm not an excitable person and I'm scared people think I'm boring. I don't even know what I like to do for fun.
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