Quote:
Originally Posted by TerryL
I am not a trained professional, and I could be wrong, but I have always felt that it is especially such dire thoughts that need to be expressed (in the right environment) and hopefully dealt with. else they will just fester. Of course, finding the right person to talk to about them is probably not easy.
I know exactly what you mean. I have gone over my own issues a gazillion times and it also has become a big mish-mash in my brain. Funny thing though, because I have no insurance, I was forced to be my own T. It has actually empowered me and I think I understand myself as much as any T could. I even found peace for a while. Even though that peace has gone away for now, I hope the self awareness that I have gained will one day lead me out of the despair again. I really hope you will find some peace too one day Soup.  |
Thanks TerryL - yes I feel I have exhausted all avenues with the thoughts - I am not sure what I would want from someone else if I shared them - maybe just ackknowledgement that it is hard going dealing with them on a daily basis. They have been constant for about 2 years - sometimes quieter and easier to ignore, but other times full on so that I have to change my behaviour to manage them.
I saw my T yesterday and I found it a difficult session - T is the professional but I don't think gave me what I needed yesterday - not that I know what I needed, but I feel in conflict with T now and T has become another source of pressure. I can feel other coping strategies being triggered now and I need to find a way of taking full control of myself - to keep myself in hand.
Well done to you for being your own T - I guess seeing T's is about getting to know ourselves as ultimately this "gift" of life is ours isn't it? I am wondering whether I am so "odd" that I will never find someone who ever really "gets" me and maybe I should think whether my T is actually helping or whether I am just a challenge for T to expore as part of T's job.
Let's hope we can both find some peace - thanks for being here - Soup