Forgiving is something is do for myself, so that I can more on. It's my way of getting that little rock out of my shoe that constantly irritates my foot.

But though I forgive, I don't forget the lessons I've learned or the precautions I need to take to protect myself. If it's my mom who's mistreating me, I'll forgive her so I can move beyond the anger and find a saner way of coping with her. That may mean I limit phone calls, or even refuse to speak to her on the phone. It may mean I walk out of rooms while she's talking to me. It may mean whatever I work out with my therapist as a reasonable way of coping--something which doesn't end with me hysterical, in tears, feeling like crap.

So yes, forgive, that's the first step. But after that, everything is different.

At least, that's how I do it.

I'm not sure what you're going through, but it sounds like someone's giving you a really hard time. I hope you can get it all worked out--fast!

Roadie